Have you ever felt like you could get more out of life but weren’t sure how? The answer is simple: ask for it. Getting what you want requires recognizing and asking for what your heart desires. When it comes to getting what you want, the power lies in your hands.
Whether it’s a higher salary at work, a promotion at your current job, or something else entirely, all you have to do is take the initiative and ask for it. Asking is the first step towards making any request come true; by clearly outlining your expectations and vision for the desired result, your chances of success increase exponentially.
Asking for what we want can be intimidating but if we remind ourselves that putting ourselves out there often leads to great things, we can approach our requests with courage and confidence.
Become a Master at Asking For What You Want
Are you having difficulty getting what you want out of life? Do you find it challenging to articulate what it is that you actually desire? Becoming a master at asking for what you want is a skill that can be learned with some practice and by understanding how it works.
Our endless needs and wants
- Every day, we need/want the assistance of our family, friends, co-workers, and others we interact with:
- Can you listen to this idea and give me feedback?
- Could I get your advice on how to handle this?
- Can we discuss my current workload?
The reasons people fail to ask
- They don’t want to look stupid – ‘What if I ask something that is obvious, doesn’t make sense, or the other person thinks is ridiculous?’
- They don’t want to be rejected – ‘What if they say no? They probably will, so why even ask?’
- They assume people are mind readers – ‘They should be able to figure out that I need/want this. I’m dropping hints all over the place and they’re just ignoring them.’
The cost of not asking
- You miss out on the wisdom of others
- You allow amazing opportunities to pass you by
- You take on more work than you can handle
- You can become resentful
- If you don’t ask, the answer will always be NO!
How to ask more effectively
- Ask specifically – Explain exactly what you want, and when you want it (dropping hints to avoid ‘confrontation’ doesn’t work). Clarity leads to action, but a confused mind always says no
- Ask simply – A single, simple reason works best because it sounds more legitimate and authentic than a laundry list
- Ask someone who can help you – Ask someone with the time, energy, resources, and experience to help you – don’t ask someone in the same situation (or worse) than you
- Create value for the person you’re asking – Don’t just think about your needs/wants, but identify a benefit (a reason) for the other person to grant your request – how specifically will your request make a difference in their life?
- Make sure the time is right – Avoid asking someone for help when they’re upset or overwhelmed – their frame of mind matters!
- Ask with a focused, congruent belief – Be bold in the sense that you believe your request is reasonable/doable
- Ask until you get what you want – Hearing No’ shouldn’t shock you – keep asking on different days, with different words and you’ll eventually get what you want
How to use this:
- Identify a specific want or need you currently have
- Use the suggestions that we’ve discussed to ask for it
- Keep asking, until you get what you want
- As you go about your everyday life, have a mindset of always asking for what you want (big and small) and you’ll become more skilled at doing it – this is when doors will open to you where there were once only walls!
In conclusion, getting what you want is as simple as asking for it. Being concise and direct is key to achieving success. The ability to ask for what you want without feeling embarrassed or shy is something that comes with practice and confidence.
Don’t be afraid to take risks and put yourself out there – you never know how successful you could be! Having a strong support system of friends and family who encourage you will only make the process easier.